Handling Emotional Objections to Faith

By Martins Olawale Olajide December 8, 2024 8 min read

Not every objection to Christianity is purely intellectual. Often, the strongest barriers to faith are emotional wounds, past experiences, or deep-seated fears. Learning to address these emotional objections is crucial for effective apologetics. ## Understanding Emotional Objections It is critical to understand that through experiences, unique neural pathways are formed in people, altering their physical and mental state, and their response to a subject or a topic could be based on neurophysical changes, associated with displeasureable or pleasurable experiences related to that topic. Human emotions are normal and valid, and at the root of every objection is a residue of subjective feelings about a topic that must be carefully navigated, if one is to be an effective apologist. ### What Are Emotional Objections? These are barriers to faith rooted in: Past hurt or trauma Disappointment with God or Christians Fear of commitment or change Guilt and shame Anger at perceived injustice in the world Grief and loss of loved ones ### Why They Matter In spite of your best intentions, when you approach a person with a newly fractured leg, you don’t go for the leg and try to straighten, for you will be met with strong resistance and potential violence. At first you must administer some form of sedative, anaesthesia, or anything to soothe the pain, and only then is it agreeable to attend to the fracture. Emotions sometimes drive our decisions more than logic Hurt people need healing first, not just strong arguments Intellectual answers to emotional problems are the right shoe for the left foot ## Common Emotional Objections and Responses ### "If God is loving, why didn't He protect me from abuse?" Acknowledge the validity of the pain, without minimising their specific experience, and barring some divine revelation on the specific situation it is not the place of the apologetic to tackle the circumstances related to the specific situation. Your role is to empathetically steer the conversation from what you don't know, which is causing them pain and anger, to that which you do know, which could potentially bring them healing and restoration. It needs to be clear to the listener that you care, and that more importantly God cares; bringing the conversation into the identify of God as love and reiterating that what happened to them is first and foremost not Gods will, for his plans for them are good. Acknowledge your ignorance about the degree of their hurt, but close with a comforting reassurance in your belief that God has a pathway for healing and restoration for them, and even the current conversation could be that start. The goodness of God above all needs to be put on display, along with his power to make light out of the darkest moments engineered by man. **The Heart Behind It:** Deep Pain, Broken Trust, Feeling Abandoned Helpful Responses: - Don't say it's not pain, say, "I’m so sorry that happened to you." - Don't invalidate experiences, and don’t offer quick, grand explanations. - Show how God also grieves (Isaiah 53:3-4). - Explain how the difference between God's design and how we humans live is the root of the issue. - Walk together, don't offer to "fix" the problem and leave. - Explore professional counseling as an option to support them. ### "Christians are hypocrites, I want nothing to do with that" The Heart Behind It: Disillusionment, betrayal, broken trust Helpful Responses - Acknowledge their pain and validate their experience - Empathize with their feelings and apologize on Christians’ behalf - Make the difference between human circumstances and failure and the perfection of Christ - Speak on your own battles and struggles for which you needed grace, and tell them and explain the fear of judgment one can feel - Speak for the person and show them your authentic Christianity - Show them that you mean what you say ‘God took my loved one, I can’t forgive Him’ This Explains The Heart Behind It - Grief, anger, feeling punished, or feeling that your loved one has been Helpful Responses - Explain the anger and the feeling of betrayal, and anger towards God is genuine and can be argued - Everyone knows God cares for the grieving, so explain that God is fighting loss and makes the grave - You can share on His Grief, and God wants to take the loss and pain away and remove grief- Rev 21: 4 - Explain that grief is a life cycle and some things take time Principles for Addressing Emotional Objections Listen First, Speak Second - Allow them to tell you their story and give them space - Ask some follow-up questions to understand where the issues you can pursue lie - Wait to offer your answer, and cause of the problem. The answer may come in a question to you. Demonstrating your concern for them rather than your argument can be shown through your body language. ### 2. Validate the Pain - Acknowledge that their hurt is real and matters - Don't minimize or explain away their experience - Open up a pathway for comforting truth by using phrases like: - "That must have been incredibly difficult" - "I can understand why you'd feel that way" ### 3. Apologize When Appropriate - If Christians or the church has caused harm, apologize - Don't make excuses for bad behavior - Take responsibility for how Christianity has been misrepresented - Show what authentic faith looks like ### 4. Share the Heart of God - Show how God grieves with us (Psalm 34:18) - Explain that God understands suffering (Isaiah 53) - Share promises of comfort and healing - Paint a picture of God's true character ### 5. Be Patient with the Process - Emotional healing takes time - Don't pressure for immediate decisions - Check in regularly and continue the relationship - Celebrate small steps forward ## Building Emotional Bridges ### Create Safe Spaces - Be trustworthy with what people share - Don't judge or lecture - Offer practical help and support - Include them in community activities ### Share Your Own Story - Be vulnerable about your struggles - Discuss how faith has helped you through difficulties - Admit when you don't have all the answers - Show ongoing growth and learning ### Demonstrate Christ's Love - As much as you're able show up consistently in their life - Offer practical help during difficult times - Remember important dates and check in - Let your actions speak louder than words ## When to Seek Additional Help Don't hesitate to recommend: - Christian counselors - Support groups - Pastoral care teams - Crisis hotlines ## The Role of Community Individual apologetics isn't enough for emotional healing: - Connect people with healthy Christian community - Find others who've overcome similar struggles - Provide ongoing support and encouragement - Create environments where healing can happen ## Hope in the Process Remember that addressing emotional objections is often slower but more lasting than purely intellectual approaches. When someone's heart is healed and their trust restored: - Their faith tends to be deeper and more authentic - They become powerful witnesses to others with similar struggles - They experience the fullness of God's love and grace - They're equipped to help others on similar journeys ## Biblical Examples - Jesus with the Samaritan woman (John 4) - addressing shame and rejection - Jesus with Thomas (John 20) - dealing with doubt and disappointment - Jesus with Peter (John 21) - restoring after failure and guilt - Paul with the Philippian jailer (Acts 16) - fear and desperation The goal isn't to eliminate all emotional barriers quickly, but to walk alongside people as they experience God's healing love. Sometimes the most powerful apologetic is simply being present in someone's pain and pointing them to the God who understands and cares. Remember: Behind every emotional objection is a person who needs to experience God's love before they can accept God's truth. Be that love in action.